When I have a quick scroll through my Twitter feed, I\u2019m happy to see most of my mutuals have similar ideas about equality to my own. Sometimes I forget that in my little bubble of feminism & liberal-thinking, where everyone is appalled at things like rape culture, the wage gap, half-arsed sentencing for sexual assaults and domestic violence\u2026for some people this ISN\u2019T the norm. I know, it sounds preposterous right? Of course there are people out there who disagree. They\u2019re the ones we argue with on Twitter, the ones with the problematic memes on Facebook and the misogynistic comments on feminist blogs. In my wee bubble, it\u2019s almost like they are just \u201cthe others\u2019. Maybe I\u2019m optimistic, but I\u2019m honestly surprised when I run into one of these relics IRL.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I get taken seriously at my job because I\u2019m good at it. I got taken seriously at my last job too, because I WAS GOOD AT IT. I work in a creative industry, and creatives don\u2019t seem to give a shit whether my shoes are sparkly and pink, I\u2019m covered in tattoos, and my hair is the colour of a mermaid\u2019s tail. In fact many designers I\u2019ve worked with are fairly non-conformist in their sartorial choices. No one at uni cared as long as I did well on my essays and reports, no one I deal with professionally even blinks an eye. So why is it that some random Average Joe who doesn\u2019t work in my industry often feels free to comment on how I do my job because of the way I look?<\/p>\n
I very rarely actually deal with the construction side of design, as I\u2019m only in office a few times a year. The company I primarily work with for my personal projects is one I\u2019ve used for years. I trust them. They\u2019ve done a stellar job, and they\u2019re also pretty well versed in what is and isn\u2019t appropriate to say. To a woman, to a man\u2026aw hell, even just OUT LOUD.<\/p>\n
I used to quietly seethe when some guy decided to mansplain at me. Like everyone else, I like to be taken seriously, and because I am afforded that courtesy at work, I don\u2019t really expect anything less from anyone else. This morning I had to deal with a person who because of my gender, thought I couldn\u2019t possibly<\/em> know what I was talking about and wouldn\u2019t bother giving me the information I needed for a project. His speech was peppered with \u201cdears\u201d<\/em> and \u201csweethearts\u201d<\/em>, and it was about as condescending as a pat on the head. I was expected to ignore his microaggressions and excuse his behaviour because he was older than me, despite my qualifications and dare I say it, common sense.<\/em><\/p>\n Like anyone else, I just want to be taken seriously. When people of a certain generation talk down to me, either for being young(ish) or a woman, I\u2019ll politely put them right. Don\u2019t get me wrong, there are many who actually don’t realise they\u2019re doing it and appreciate the correction; then again there are some who don’t take it well at all. The \u201cdarlings\u201d<\/em> and \u201cloves\u201d<\/em> turn more forceful as if to punctuate the insult. It\u2019s like talking to a brick wall sometimes, so why bother?<\/p>\n It\u2019s so tiring sometimes, explaining to people who just don\u2019t get it.<\/em> We wonder why we even bother. It\u2019s one thing to make my friends and my family see why it\u2019s not ok to speak patronisingly to a person because of their gender, to make rape jokes, to cat-call, or to commit any number of microaggressions that belittle us. When it\u2019s a stranger, someone who has no actual connection to us, it can feel like an uphill battle. Is it worth it?<\/p>\n Of course it fucking is.<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m a great believer that for a person\u2019s behaviour to change, they need to be aware of it. I could be the biggest raging douchebag on the planet but if I don\u2019t realise, I might think I\u2019m all sunshine and light. Yes, some of it is cognitive dissonance, but sometimes it is genuine, old fashioned ignorance<\/em>. In this case, he lost a pretty big job for not just talking down to me, but also not following the protocol when presenting the information I needed to make a professional decision. Maybe he thought I wouldn\u2019t even think about that sort of “complicated” technical jargon, or maybe he thought I didn\u2019t know what I was talking about. Maybe he was just chancing his luck. Whatever his reasons for acting unprofessionally, it cost him a client.<\/p>\n Maybe he won\u2019t take anything away from this other than muttering \u201cwhat a bitch\u201d under his breath out of earshot, but maybe, just maybe, he\u2019ll think twice before doing that again. THAT is exactly the reason why we need to keep calling out problematic actions and inappropriate comments.<\/p>\n We need to continue to do it because otherwise, they will never learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I have a quick scroll through my Twitter feed, I\u2019m happy to see most of my mutuals have similar ideas about equality to my own. Sometimes I forget that in my little bubble of feminism & liberal-thinking, where everyone is appalled at things like rape culture, the wage gap, half-arsed sentencing for sexual assaults […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[87,242,243,404,443],"class_list":["post-3167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feminism","category-opinion","tag-blogtober","tag-feminism","tag-feminist","tag-microaggressions","tag-patriarchy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3167"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3167\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luciedhog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}